in the in-between

May 10th, 2011 Comments Off

With a stunning lack of inspiration, I sit down to expel the ambiguity that has set itself heavy upon my chest.  Symptoms include short, gulping breaths and disorientation.  Left untreated for six months to a year, the condition has become malignant.  This festering tumor has pushed aside the holy bravery I once hid in the hollow behind my heart and I find myself ’sorrying’ my way through the day.  Sorrying alongside the morning commuters, sorrying to the front office staff, sorrying with other sorry-ers, sorry sorry sorry I did not mean, I take that back…if I’m not careful I’ll sorry myself into oblivion.  Of course this compulsory daytime ritual is merely a sad circus act when compared to the confusion and lostness that accompanies the night.  In my sharpest sanity, I know the dark that comes just before the dawn builds such a blinding blackness that I dread the coming of morning.  The very morning that would pour the clearest light into my foggy mind has become my mortal enemy and I use all my fierceness to keep it at bay.  I don’t know how to stop fighting it.  I just don’t know.

Where am I?

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